I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me. -CS Lewis

Don't Be Afraid to Sparkle

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
                                                                                                    Marianne  Willianson
 

                                                                            

Inspiration 

- something that makes someone want to  do something 

 -a force or influence that inspires someone

 I went to see The Nutcracker Ballet at the Academy of Music again this December. I have gone so many times now that it is hard to keep track of exactly how many times I have seen it. This year was a little different because instead of watching and thinking "Wow those ballerinas are beautiful!",  I thought "I want to be a beautiful ballerina!"  I could not let go of that thought despite the inherent delusion in a soon to be 50 year old woman becoming a ballerina. 

So I ordered a ballet dvd.

which I have been using faithfully so that some day soon I can look like a ballerina and wear a tutu!

Christmas Truly

I

Sometimes The Angels Are More Serious Than I Am...

I had an accident this past summer. A serious accident that could have left me dead. It didn't though. I stood up and I woke up. I have made so many changes since that fateful day. Changes born of gratitude for being alive and well. Yes, the angels were serious! Thank God!

You Can't Sparkle on a Credit Card

I am just going to say it...I live beyond my means.

 For most of my adult life, I have indulged my wants with easy credit.

 Consequently, I have also payed for many a need with a credit card too.

I have lovely things.

None of my things help me go back to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about which bill I have to pay and which one can wait.

I started to make a change this year but old habits die hard.

I am ready.

I am starting with a budget

and help.

YNAB

Caught in the Polar Vortex

In his book OH the Places You"ll Go, Dr. Suess' whimsical thesis on life, he describes the uselessness of a life spent in anticipation rather than living:

" Waiting for the fish too bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting,perhaps, for their Uncle Jack
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting."


These weeks spent between winter's end and true spring are the most difficult for me. This winter with its' unrelenting cold and snow has been a difficult.  Another big storm will be arriving tonight. There are however some hints of spring. The songbirds are singing in the morning and sun is up when I leave for work at 6:45 am. My side of the planet is tilting back towards the sun! Spring will come!

Waiting for spring to arrive, or
just waiting to see what has survived
or waiting for winter to be spent
or waiting for the lilac's scent
or waiting for the leaves to pop
or just waiting for the rain to stop
or for the sun to shine,
or the smell of basil, lavender and thyme
I am just waiting.